14238167_10153880862010950_8401068920314412877_n-1I walk around in a daze as if underwater. Glimpses of Papa keep coming up, and in between moments of smiling, I cannot held the deep yearning of just seeing him one more time. I remember his last hug vividly. He grabbed me and said “Papa loves you.”  He never said “I love you” as if the I was not enough to express how he felt. He wanted you to know that he loved you with this entire being.

That was Papa in a nutshell. He did everything with his all. And I know he would hate all this sadness. He never liked to dwell on negative emotions, yet I seem paralyzed. While so many have expressed love and support, I just want to be alone. Yet that was unlike Papa. He thrived on love and attention so I get to be more like him, but it hurts so damn much. I want to shrink away from all the attention. Leave me be I want to say, but Papa created love in so many that I would be truly selfish in not allowing them to express it.

I know the pain will ease, but the memories won’t. I miss you.  Sanjay loves you.

2 thoughts on “”

  1. Sanjay- I know it’s said commonly but I too am learning that the truth is that only time will show us the way and provided comfort. I am thinking of you. I AM here with you. I saw this poem and it supported my heart as to when I get to see my little one again.. I hope it can do the same for you even in the smallest way. I love you. <3

    May The Road Rise Up To Meet You

    "May the road rise up to meet you.
    May the wind be always at your back.
    May the sun shine warm upon your face;
    the rains fall soft upon your fields
    and until we meet again,
    may God hold you in the palm of His hand."

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