Loss in Silence

things-todo-today-is-get-up-survive-and-go-back-to-the-bed-very-funny-quote-black-quotes-about-life-and-death-930x827It’s been a rough week for  many, and it got worse as we got news of a family friend passing away as well as a dear friend losing her cat. Add to that the entire conversations on social media going on about Race, Police, Racism, and then hearing others with either passionate views, it just felt as if I was bursting full with emotions. So I did what I know when I am overwhelmed. I switched off.

One of the things I have learned is that passionate others are, it does not help me to respond or get involved in a discussion. This is not to say I am apathetic or weak, but that I know from experience that responding with emotion really enrolls no one especially ones who are the opposite from me. Then it hits me, why is it important to convince others of my viewpoint. As “right” as I feel in my feelings about people of color, it does me or anyone else no good when I preach or lecture.

It comes back to the same theme: responsibility. I am responsible for my feelings, thoughts and actions.  I cannot control others nor should I want to. What I can do is work on myself and my surroundings. Don’t get me wrong, this is not to say that I don’t want to get involved, just that I get to be present and really notice where I can be of healing help. We are all entitled to our opinions, but we are also responsible for our actions. Until our actions match with our opinions, all we are doing is standing on a fictitious higher ground. So I love myself, others around me, and continue working on the one things I know I can to make this a better place: myself. Not financially, not materially but as a person of social and spiritual consciousness.

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