The Tuesday after a long weekend is always a mixed bag of emotions. From the eagerness to get back into my routine to the realization of how much there is to do to grounding myself that even if I wasted the weekend in terms of productivity I got to spend time with loved ones. Today is a chance to pick up the mantle I left on Friday. To choose to go back to who I know I can be when I put my mind to things. To get back to being more than just existing. To make a difference, to be healthy, to be present, to contribute, to just not pass days not making an impact on my goals.
But I also start today with a bit of anxiety. Beating myself up for not doing more on my days off, for eating badly, for not doing more things. I realize that this mental soundtrack can take over me sometimes and instead of enjoying the day off, I spend it in regret. I forget to practice gratitude for having the opportunity to enjoy these free moments. It’s then I realize I have gotten into the “let’s get shit done” mode which is great when I am on a mission, but not so great for winding down.
The reality is that unless I get this “me and family time”, I do run down. After all, what is the point of pushing myself if I cannot rest, recover and relax. I also realize that I push myself because of a deep fear that I will fall into old habits. So I sit with these feelings for a while, and let them do what they do best: which is pass. Then I take a breath and get back onto the saddle of responsibility. Wish me luck!