It’s been a strange week. I made some great breakthroughs in an area of my life that’s very important to me while at the same time a streak of procrastination has entered me in that I have yet to go to Crossfit this week. Perhaps it’s the idea that it is closing at the end of month, or perhaps because it just hit me that I will be doing a half marathon obstacle race and a full marathon two weeks apart and thus am frozen. So what’s behind the breakthroughs and the breakdowns? Fear. Always. Which means I get to keep pushing myself to be uncomfortable. I keep going up on the skinny branches, Each time, my stomach or my heart tightens with anxiety, it’s just a signal to keep pushing through. To not just wallow in that fear, but to push it aside and make shit happen.
I am not gonna lie. It is not easy. Sometimes, every single step is filled with dread and second guessing myself, but I keep going. Because more often than not, I am glad I am pushed myself. I get to live on top of the tree rather than under its shadows. Failure is part of the journey, but not the end of it. Because ultimately, I don’t want to say I passed time in this life but actually lived it!