Another week ends, and the end of 2014 is around the bend. Thoughts of what I started out with now resonate with what I actually ended up doing. I now realize that I need to set more goals, more ways to help others, more ways to write, more ways to be better than the Sanjay the year before. I experimented with various things this year, but one of the most fulfilling ended up being when I took a fast from Facebook. I realized that it represented my life in a way where I spent too much criticizing others or how they could live their life better when, in fact, the only person that matters is what I do with myself. So I think slowly I am going to disengage from social media where the conversations are all on the surface. Everyone has an opinion, and that’s great for them, but for me, personally, I want to see what I can contribute to this world as opposed to what I can take from it. Yet it’s also addictive. I catch myself constantly checking what others are saying. Grimacing at some (most of the posts), as well as enjoying others. I am like a rat doping myself continually on the pleasure centers, foregoing nourishment and mental health.
Yes, that, too is a an opinion, but one I don’t need to share with others constantly. I see a “holier than thou” attitude in myself that I don’t care for. I took this journey for myself so I can be better for the people who are important to me. That does not include what I feel others should be feeling or thinking. It’s hard not to get caught up with that when you begin checking as frequently as I have. So I think I will begin working on that. It is a will power thing. I find myself with a lot of excuses as to why I cannot do another fast so for now, I think I will do what I did last time which was delete the app from my phone.
Wish me luck. Lets see how long I can last 🙂