So I began a Facebook fast, and I can’t help noticing the irony that this post will post to my Facebook timeline. It’s as if I need the constant validation that someone is reading my story. That YOU know that I am NOT on Facebook. I have become addicted to telling everyone how much and how far I have run to bragging about my Spartan run. Like those goals wont matter much if the 500 plus people on my social media don’t know about it. It’s such a relief not to check constantly to see what I missed in the past few minutes, but on the other hand, I have played the crap out of Words with Friends. Tried tweeting, but really it feels like a bunch of status updates that no one responds to (really 500 followers and not one of you has anything to say to me?)
Yet really what it really comes down to (and yes here comes the excuse), is that I am a writer. And writers write to be read. Which led me to realize that I had completely stopped reading. It was as if I had decided that I no longer needed to grow up. Yet it was reading and write that caused me to analyze who I am as a person and who I wish to be. As much as I talk, I really don’t say much to the ones near me. I spend a lot of time in my head, and for those closest to me (cough, cough my wife), it can be highly aggravating.
I don’t know when I became so social and introverted as the same time. It’s as if I am saying nothing, just taking up space so you know I am here. I shared too much of the things that don’t matter, and not enough of the things that can make relationships stronger. It’s as if I am talking on mute, and there are no sub-titles.
Hello? Anyone there?