Brownness

Controlling Others

downloadIt has been a surreal few weeks. Friends that I haven’t seen in ages came around, and one after another, I got to reconnect, and recharge those relationships. I am up to 8 miles running even though if you had asked me the  year before, I HATED running. And now adding to the excitement I am promoting a Jassi Sidhu club show with my favorites Sandeep Kumar and Dhol Nation. On the writing front, I am getting to 100 words a day, but the story is going slow.  Yet, I am still unfulfilled, still hungry. There is so much today in terms of volunteering, meditation and over all health including my relationships with my loved one. I am not stopping. I can’t stop. S

I am tempted constantly to respond on social media to people I disagree with, but I remind myself that I cannot control others. I can barely control myself.  The  urge to correct and fix things as we see fit is an innate part of us.

But, and this is a big but, whatever is meant to happen will. There is no point in fighting others and their viewpoints. I try to be careful and not jump on the bandwagon of bad mouthing. It has become ridiculously easy so to mock, denigrate or nag others when they are doing something we don’t agree with. There is also a pattern of holier than thou-ism that drives me crazy. Take for instance the recent posts on Gaza, Ferguson, and the ALS ICE Bucket challenge.  While my timeline exploded with hashtags of #prayforgaza and #alsicebucketchallenge, there were so many quick to disparage people for “slacktavism.”  The challenges were mostly to do more than post images or to worry about the drought, yet I couldn’t help wonder what drove them to criticize. Again the need to control others came. The reality is that we all do things the way we want, and tell others how they should feel about thing is a common fallacy as well as a waste of time.

The negativity emanating from Facebook makes me want to quit it often, and I do take sabbaticals as we feel compelled to tells others what to do all the time when we, in fact, don’t want others to control us. See the contradiction?

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