Brownness

Scheduling My Life

So I have noticed a slipping away from the weekly postings that I had committed to myself on this blog. There’s a lot lately I have been slacking on, and frankly in some it’s a good thing, and in others, it has made life more difficult than it needs to be.  As much as I say that I don’t like bringing up my surgery, I now accept that it was a HUGE wake up call from me. I had become complacent in several key areas. I thought it OK to skip exercising or writing or even reading. I also struggled with waking up early and kept telling myself it alright to sleep in on the weekends, but deep inside I knew I was betraying myself.

The tough part of taking on a healthier lifestyle in any aspect of your life is that it doesn’t take vacations, it doesn’t care that you are tired or unmotivated.  It just resides in your mind nagging you, telling you what you could be. It’s tough to turn off that negative talk, except that it’s not negative. I gave strength to my dreams and aspirations. I gave power to the words that had collecting dust inside my soul. I began building muscles that had gotten so used to not being used that they had atrophied.

Change is hard, and it’s constant, and there are days I have failed. Yet, instead of berating myself, I chalk it up to as a lost opportunity as well as a lesson learned. I also noticed that it’s easier to start back up. I see now that some days I want to skip ahead to the part where I am a published writer, a marathoner. a peaceful husband as well as happy NOW. Yet all of these guys happen step by step, and are not destinations. They are journeys.

So like in Rocky 5 when Rocky goes down and then Mickey comes to him in his haze, and says “Get up, get up. Micky loves ya you son of a bitch” and then Rocky rises again. So I take the knocks, but I get back up.  That is my only option.

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