Myself, Writing

Going Back To Cali Cali

Today starts my efforts to become a different me.  Ok, maybe that’s a bit over dramatic.  What I mean perhaps is today  I begin the process of going back to who I was just a few months ago.  I was working, working out, writing, and just all around doing the things that made me who I think I am.  A few months ago, something happened to me that radically changed.  I don’t mean to be secretive but it is the kind of thing that those close to me know, but is not really information you share with others unless you want sympathy. That’s exactly what I DON’T want so instead I will annoy you with this mini non-explanation.  I can no longer work out due to medical reasons.  I can walk.  That’s about it.  For someone like who has always ran ahead without thinking, this usually means torture.  Yet, I realize that the universe is trying to teach me a lesson.  All the directions and signposts I missed while racing, I now I have the time to stroll by to read and learn.

The one thing that did come back to me through this recent trauma. I missed writing. Like bad.  The kind of missing that suddenly made me wonder why I stopped in the first place.  I have always written when things are bothering me, but reading some of my old posts made me realize that a lot of them were almost vendetta-like. I was more interesting in hurting others or whining than really writing so hopefully that stops.  Recently, I have been reading www.zenhabits.com, and one of the suggestions from the site is breathe, and let things flow through, and as my very wise best friend Jemal told me to be a rock and let the stream go through instead of fighting it.  So today, I will begin the process of becoming a rock. To breathe. To stay calm.  To not worry about the life lost, but celebrate the very wonderful life I do have.  Here goes.

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