Energy: A Blog Post

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I remember writing few months back where all my energy, ideas and focus melded into one need to get the story done. I was smiling and truly enjoying the process, just living the dream of being a writer, knowing that what was being laid down was pretty good and I could do this. I want that moment back, those blissful hours when it seemed becoming a writer full time was not a fantasy, that I was good enough dammit! Yet lately, I seem to have found people who either don’t think much of my writing or dismiss it. Worse, still I have others who manage to always feel bad about blogging or posting on Facebook even when I am supremely careful of not blogging names and keeping my status updates to a minimum. I feel stifled and trapped into being a certain type of personality on social media as if I have to apologize for being open about my thoughts and feelings. Sure, I have said too much sometimes and called out others when it was not my business to, and to that I can only apologize and call it a learning process, yet I feel trapped with the label of someone who talks too much. It’s soul and creativity killing to know that my words are scrutinized to be either dismissed or confirm my status as a big mouth.

I want my words to have the energy they did when I wrote freely and got them out of being in my body, bottled up for so long. That’s where I want to get to. Let’s hope that the ones who are judging me know that they are killing me softly.