Brownness

Some Not So Great Resumes :) (I Am baccckkkk)

Some  Not So Great Resumes

 1. "I demand a salary commiserate with
   my extensive experience."

 2. "I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor
   and spreadsheet progroms."

 3. "Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year."

 4. "Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave."

 5. "Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial
 institutions."

 6. "Failed bar exam with relatively high grades."

 7. "It’s best for employers that I not work with
 people."

 8. "Let’s meet, so you can ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over
 my experience."

 9. "You will want me to be Head Honcho in
 no time."

 10. "Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever
 forget details."

 11. "I was working for my mom until she
 decided to move."

 12. "Marital status: single. Unmarried.
 Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments."

 13. "I have an excellent track record,
 although I am not a horse."

 14. "I am loyal to my employer at all
 costs…Please feel free to respond to my
 resume on my office voice mail."

 15. "I have become completely paranoid,
 trusting completely no one and absolutely
 nothing."

 16. "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But
 since I possess no training in meterology,
 I suppose I should try stock brokerage."

 17. "I procrastinate, especially when the
 task is unpleasant."

 18. "As indicted, I have over five years of
 analyzing investments."

 19. "Personal interests: donating blood.
 Fourteen gallons so far."

 20. "Instrumental in ruining entire operation
 for a Midwest chain store."

 21. "Note: Please don’t miscontrue my
 14 jobs as ‘job-hopping’. I have never quit
 a job."

 22. "Marital status: often. Children: various."

 23. "Reason for leaving last job: They insisted
 that all employees get to work by 8:45 a.m. every
 morning. Could not work under those conditions."

 24. "The company made me a scapegoat, just
 like my three previous employers."

 25. "Finished eighth in my class of ten."

 26. "References: None. I’ve left a path of
 destruction behind me."

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