I have managed to avoid thinking about it for the past few weeks, but now with it around the corner, I realize that our lives about to change dramatically. Not badly, just differently. One thing’s for sure, love and kindness have to fill our moments before we sink into the depth of anger and self-pity. That’s not easy to admit or say to someone who is so close to my heart that it feels that I am being operated on instead of her. And I wish could spare her the emotional pain of feeling incomplete.
I want her to know that having her in my life and spending the rest of our lives growing old together while bickering and fighting about the silliest things is what matters. That is the life I want with her. I want the small moments of silence that we have when we are driving long distance, the quick kisses when we are away from each other even a few moments, the shared laughter among dear friends, and the constant questions about each others state of mind. That’s what matter. That’s the day by day I want and need. Nothing else matters.
And yet I know we are entering a dark period, and the next few weeks will be a test. The real question is will we able to handle it, or will we both sink into a self-pitying quicksand that neither one of us get can get out of.
Only the new weeks can answer that. For now, all I can do is pray that she sees us as I do: together, forever
Nothing Else Matters.