In just 2 months, the life I knew has been obliterated. I search for the words to express that, but besides pain there is nothing. Actually. I wish there was pain. Just numbness. I sit here in a daze, not writing particularly well just thoughts and emotions fighting with God asking why her? What has she done to deserve? Is being with me so bad that she had to be punished physically?
No one’s saying it to me, but they don’t need to. I feel it. I know I am being watched with the wonder, did the constant stress of being in this relationship cause this? What other explanation is there for someone so young?
Praying to the God so frequently that now only word goes out to him: Please. As in, please change this. Please stop this. Please fix this. Please cure her. Please give it to me. Please stop. Please forgive me. Please let me take this on. PLEASE.
Nothing else comes except the numbness, wishing her pain was mine, wanting her life to be mine. She doesn’t deserve this. No one does. Why her? Why not me?
I look up and hear nothing. Please. Nothing.
Life as I know it is over. Nothing remains. Just the pain.