Brownness

Where Did the Day/Love Go?

I asked myself as I finally sit down and puke down some words on here, hoping there is someone around to clean up the mess. I literally didnt leave the house today, and yet still dont feel suffocated. It’s probably because there is a deep pain that I wish I knew how to alleviate, and yet that would mean swallowing my plentiful pride and reaching out to the love of my life. There was a time, calling her was like breathing. It didnt take any thought, it just happened.

But today, I long for a way to learn how to breathe again, to reach and touch my babe again. Make us the way it used to be. But words fail me as usual. Things that used to be easy now just seem like fantasy. It’s as if the time spent together has somehow made us immune to certain emotions. Both of us so intent on being right that we didnt even see how wrong some of our relationship has become.

Instead, we stay at our respective houses, waiting and wondering when the other will give in? But is that it really? I mean, I know I am hurt and so is she, but is it pride that’s not allowing us to love or is it something else? I could ask her and then I realize we are not speaking. And that shuts me up again. Silence has become a great friend of mine, just not sure how good it is for me.

I have no one ask right now. Appropriate, dont ya think?

3 thoughts on “Where Did the Day/Love Go?”

  1. Love is still there. But sometimes when we fight, it takes a back seat. We let other emotions come to the fore-front. Whether its with a lover, a friend, or family – when emotions are running high, we neglect to acknowledge the foundation of the relationship is love and we focus on our anger.

    Breath. Release. Let go.

    ..and then..

    Start over again.

    I think the void you are feeling right now with your love is that niether of you are understanding each other’s needs. That’s what’s most important. Understanding what you’re partner needs. And if you don’t know – ASK.

    We’ll never be mind reader’s. But we can try to read each other’s hearts.

    All the best.

  2. To get your perspective, emotion, mentality back on track read ‘Lucky Sanjay.’ Remind yourself of the good days too.

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