I asked myself as I finally sit down and puke down some words on here, hoping there is someone around to clean up the mess. I literally didnt leave the house today, and yet still dont feel suffocated. It’s probably because there is a deep pain that I wish I knew how to alleviate, and yet that would mean swallowing my plentiful pride and reaching out to the love of my life. There was a time, calling her was like breathing. It didnt take any thought, it just happened.
But today, I long for a way to learn how to breathe again, to reach and touch my babe again. Make us the way it used to be. But words fail me as usual. Things that used to be easy now just seem like fantasy. It’s as if the time spent together has somehow made us immune to certain emotions. Both of us so intent on being right that we didnt even see how wrong some of our relationship has become.
Instead, we stay at our respective houses, waiting and wondering when the other will give in? But is that it really? I mean, I know I am hurt and so is she, but is it pride that’s not allowing us to love or is it something else? I could ask her and then I realize we are not speaking. And that shuts me up again. Silence has become a great friend of mine, just not sure how good it is for me.
I have no one ask right now. Appropriate, dont ya think?