Brownness

2010- My Year?

While it still feels a bit surreal to write the year 2010 down, I know I am pretty determined to make it a memorable one.  This month, I am going to be 38 years old, and I think its time I took stock of myself not just the year.  I no longer can afford to let things be because it seems like I am still in the same place I was 3 year ago.  To be fair, its not so bad, greab job, wonderful family and an amazing girlfriend, yet there is a itch in me that wont go away.  That wont let me just accept life as it is.  I know I can do more, and it’s time the whimsical Sanjay bring some hard core reality into his life. 

Its hard to change when by most shallow measures I am successful.  2 main goals elude me.  Kids and becoming a published author.  And to that end, I have made 3 resolutions.  Read a  book a week.  Post atleast twice a week, and finally make my beautiful girlfriend my life partner.  Easy enough, right?   And in some ways it is, yet they have become my most elusive lifetime goals. 

The first two resolutions are well on their way, and I have a feeling that I will achieve them well before the year end, but the last one is sticky.  Besides, learning on how to become a life partner, I have to be the person she can depend on.  And for that, the jury’s out.  I havent been consistent, and worse, I have damaged a lot of the trust.  So, I will beging anew again.  I have to become every fiber in my body tells me she’s the one.  I just need to prove it to her. 

Wish me luck.

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