Myself

Visiting Family

There is nothing like having a lot of family visiting that brings up issues that you rather not deal with.  From being unmarried to wondering whats going on with my life, I have been blessed to have critical but extremely loving cousins who are so much fun to hang out with that 3 weeks have seemed like 3 days.  From daily gambling nights to unending laughter, it is more than a tinge of regret that I see them go in a few days. 

In a way, they are my gut check, letting me know where my life is without making me feeling like a complete failure.  Sure, there are some tensions especially trying to go somewhere where everyone will be happy, and God forbid we actually all end up at the same place with the kids.  However, at the end of it all, we all walk away with great memories and an even deeper love.  I wish I could show that to others close to me who are not in my family or about to enter my family.  Nowhere else is there such a safety net yet one filled with pointed concern. 

There are days, I cant imagine not running someone from my family and there are many days where I just rather hide than have be emotionally naked in fron of them.  I am ashamed of my fear, pain and hurt, and yet they are the main reserves of strength.  Go figure…

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