Brownness

The Moment

I dont know when I turned into someone who thinks more about what he needs to do than actually do.   Time was, I would jump into something and think about the consequences later or be so full of ideas that I would start a new business almost every day. 

But things changed somehow, and I slowed down.  As much as I regret my earlier passion for the new and cutting edge, I am now comfortable snuggling into a regular work and family day.  I enjoy the rush of laughing and teasing with family instead of hanging outside a club arguing with the bouncer on why I should be let in. 

Obviously, some things are easier now if I wanted to do (like go clubbing) but the thrill is only in sharing with good friends and my beautiful girlfriend.  What I mean is that the night out has to have meaning, it cant be a random night which I dont remember.  I guess what I am trying to say is that each moment I seek has to have meaning.  It’s as if the memories are more important than the rush of a random event. 

Maybe this doesnt make sense but I rather stay in the present than constantly wonder how about the future.  After all, its the time I am spending now that matters rather than what could be.  So I take in the days and moments, and I know this is the very best moment I could be in.  No more wishful thinking, no more yearning for a better future.  This moment, right here, right now.

The rest will happen as my present: inevitable and hopefully fruitful.

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