Brownness

Um

It’s funny how a moment arrives where you feel like nothing is going right, or the words coming out of your mouth are ,in fact ,mute noise to others, and then in a flash, words stumble out from me that make sense, and others actually seem to nod in comprehension. 

Those moments seem far and between when I am in a fog of despair, and indecisiveness.  It seems a stretch to actually say whats on my mind or even contemplating acting on my needs.   So I pause in that state for a while until I wake up one day, and realize that I am 37 years old, and my desires from 10 years ago still havent been given voice, my goals of 20 years ago lay in the dusty past, and I cant even be bothered to despair.  So the cycle goes.  I think and I worry and I dream, I do everything but short of acting because that would mean leaving these comfortable excuses behind. 

Sometimes, its the simplest things that take the longest for me act on. Usually, because I make them a lot more complicated than they need to be. 

So thats my daily struggle.  Be simple. Then Act. 

A new mantra oerhaps?

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