Brownness

More?

Maybe the title should say what more?  Its what I keep asking myself as the list of things to do pile up, and yet doing the right things still does not seem to alleviate the pressure.  There is hope in me that life is not hard as I have made it to be, but also a growing dismay that perhaps I have spent far too long fighting the tide of inevitability, and need to let destiny wash over me.  Too long ignoring other important factors, and too long giving myself to only 1 goal.  Maybe thats the problem, what I think is an end is perhaps an endless loop, or worse not meant to be.  

Every day, I pray for relief and the right thing to do, and each day feels like something more is lost.  That instead of asking and praying, I need to just do.  Instead, I throw my words on here, hoping against hope that the answer is there.  And it is, and perhaps I am asking the wrong questions.  Or maybe I just dont want to believe that yet again, my old friend failure is back, grinning away, and back slapping me as if he never left.  

Ofcourse, I am writing this, alone. And perhaps thats as it should be in my life…

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