Brownness

Repost or is it?

I often wonder if the words I write have more to do with just getting the junk out of my head or a honest attempt to understand where I am in life? Ok maybe often is pushing it, but when its a good like today, you do look at the perhaps all that was needed was a bit of an attitude tune up or being just around the people you were meant to be around.  Take for example, my cousin Gurjit.  As much pain as I feel for what he is going through, its such a great feeling to have a little brother who is genuinely happy to have the relationships he has.  I admit, I am a bit of a grouch around him, but with him there is also a certain sense of just being accepted no matter what I have done in my life.  And there are others, (too many to name in my family), and ofcourse my girlfriend.  

And for once, I wanted a post to be about thanks and actually reflect a good day, rather than a rehashing of the regret and pain of loss I feel in life.  Today was about refreshing an old relationship, and also just spending time with loved ones.  I havent gotten to them all, but I sure will try.  Maybe its too much coffee or maybe the indian food hit the spot, but I feel content today.  And I cant wait to maintain that feeling every day.  I know i wont suceed, but I have these words to remind me what to do to jump start a day heading towards a cliff.  I may not avoid getting near it, but maybe I can use letters as a brake.  (confusing metaphor I know).

Oh Yea, to the ones that need to give me unsolicited opinions about my social networking status’s, seriously FUCK YOU.

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