Brownness

Conspiracy

Why do feelings and events conspire together to make what seems to be a great day on paper, is in actually a fiction of my imagination?  Food I normally inhale turns into stale mud in my mouth, and each breath belabors the patheticness of my life.  And then anger crashes the party, and all bets are off.  For that brief moment, I attempt to conquer my life, not realizing that I am just rushing through empty wind.  I will end up where i started: alone.  And thats the real fear.  Alone.  One simple word, all lonesome.  And it describes me perfectly. 

Who Knew?

So despair, you win today’s battle, but your little conspiracy isnt going to last long.  I wont let it.  I will vanquish you one day, my little friend.  We may have become close, but you werent meant to last forever.  Another day, my friend, another day. 

And alone, I havent forgotten you, your day is coming too..

1 thought on “Conspiracy”

  1. I love this one! I love your little convos with despair and alone. those two combined can be lethal but let me tell you something..you will never be alone..you may think you were or have been..but you have something that many others do not have even when it doesn’t work out with their significant others. you have a family. a family that loves you very much and a family that has been through it all with you. so even tho you may think you are alone, be thankful you at least have family to support you throughout life.

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