Thoughts Swirling, but the heart still. I play act at being unconcerned, yet filled with a cauldron of hurt. Cant overturn it, just watch it helplessly bubble over onto life’s floor. I look down at it, and wonder am I the only one that can see it? From a distance, I seem to dilligently work away at the laptop, and a closer look finds the true traitor. Words spit out, but with no substance. Thoughts swirl around and flush away in the toilet of my soul. But still I sputter on. Maybe action will keep me being mindlessly still. After all, work can be a reward, right? Right???
And yet I plod on, and glimpses of a useless future dance in front of me. And I pause, take a deep breath, and begin the cycle all over again. It’s what I do best. Get kicked, go down, and get back up again. Maybe it takes time but I do get up. How do you think I can sit on this chair and type these words, my dumb legs got me here. Maybe thats it. Maybe I am must too dumb to get it. Maybe I should be smart for once, and just lay there in the wasteness of self-pity. Just let it suffocate me into stillness. Sounds good but for a small nano second.
And then reality bitch slaps me. No can do. That isnt me, its just my day.