Brownness

Work

Each day begins with the identical thought: organize, figure out the day, the to do list and somehow contribute value to the business.  The motivation is there, and the so is the passion, and then I open the email box, and time becomes a garbage disposal instead of a creator.  I spent more time chucking away stuff then actually adding a new block to the business.  Atleast thats how it feels most days.  And then instead of hours of wanting to do work, I instead begin to count the time I am here. 

Today is no real exception.  I sat down in the chair at 9:17 and in the last 80 minutes, the only thing of value has been reviewing a response from an attorney which led to a bout of anxiety, can I really be an attorney?  And then some time was blasted away as I whined about my relationship, and then it hit me.  I  had no foundation I could rely on.  What I took for granted was in fact in need for repair, and until I got rid “of the stuff in the basement” (per Rocky Balboa), I would forever begin wasted days, and worst of all dry my soul a bit more. (damn my typos are getting worse)

So where does one begin when you think your entire life is in for an overhaul?  I mean seriously, is there a place that can teach you how to live again?  I mean its great to question shit all day long and even thing about them but damn it, it would be amazing to get answers once in a while.  I mean instead of shitting all over the place, I for once would like to be outside all clean.  Is that too much to ask?

And no I dont want Depends!

3 thoughts on “Work”

  1. When you fnd the answer clue me in. You hooked me with the email turning time into a garbage disposal. I had to read on. Is it an epidemic?

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  2. just my two cents, instead of searching for a place to start and overwhelming yourself by thinking u have to get it right. Just try doing something different and don’t think abt it too much. One thought leads to ten more and pretty soon, you’ve lost the will to take action. Why not take action first and re-teach yourself how to do the same things in a new way, a more satisfying way?

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