Brownness

Family

is a blanket.  Wrap them tight around you when you need warmth, but when it gets hot you just want to throw them away.  Yesterday, we kept our aunt warm with our off color jokes and relentless completely inappropriate sexual innuedos and what should have been a relentless slaugher of pain and worry became instead a half joking rebuke on our behavior.  We laughed the loudest at the future morgue, while the blank and harsh stares around her whizzed.  We took on the battle knowing the war was uncertain but certain victories were attained with her smile and lightening of the creases around her forehead. 

Seeing him in bed with a bandaged wasnt easy, and the cry hard to swallow when his first concern was for his mom, insisting we take her home so she was not too upset.  How are we hardwired that way?  Or maybe only he is.  The concern for his life unapparent, waved away to focus on the tear streaked face in his vision.  But then it blurred for me, and a prayer anew began again.  Please God, make it right again, give me some of his pain, let me shoulder it for little brother, regretting all the times I had snapped at him.  The young puppy slinking away from the sting of my careless and cruel attitudes.  I am unable to tackle the waves that have stuck him and my aunt, but I can try to be a lifeguard now.  I looked up.

 

I am sorry, and thank you.

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